One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
