The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
