I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
