I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
