Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize