so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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