carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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