He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
