I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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