walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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