Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's always time for handjobs
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
