So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
