if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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