I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
