You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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