Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
