do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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