If that was your dad, he is hot
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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