your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize