We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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