I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
