IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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