I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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