My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
