What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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