dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
