is your mom at the bar?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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