he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Someone stole a lamp last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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