So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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