I want to stick my p in your. b.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize