dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
