Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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