This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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