spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
