I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
