On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
