Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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