Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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