Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He better not be in your backpack
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
