Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
