Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
