My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
