i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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