no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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