Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
