I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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