My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
