I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's shark week go big or go home
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
