I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
