Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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