That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
