i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
