I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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