Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
